How to Cook Fried Eggs for Breakfast

(a detailed instruction for my beloved husband or any man whose wife is on a business trip or still sleeping)

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My dear husband! If you are reading this, it means you are already awake and hungry. It also means that I am not there to cook so you will have to do it yourself. I had been thinking a lot about what would be the easiest and the tastiest thing for you to cook and came to the conclusion that it would be a couple of fried eggs. I will not lie that it will be particularly easy but I am sure you will do perfectly well. Just try to follow my instructions precisely. Good luck!

First of all, you have to find eggs. The best place to look for them is the upper side shelf of the fridge. Just open the door and look to the right. If you cannot see the eggs at once try looking a bit up. There they are! Take two and go to the stove. Put them on the table near the oven and come back to the fridge to clean and wipe the floor from the three eggs that you have dropped and broken. Do not do it with the hand towel under any circumstances. Use the kitchen cloth instead. You will find it near the sink. When everything is nice and clean again come back to the stove and try to find the frying pan. If you bend down a little and open the door of the oven you will easily discover the pan. Get it out and put on the stove. Pick up the stuff that accidentally fell out from the oven. Next one is tricky you will have to find some vegetable oil to fry your eggs one. Although you may think that this is not necessary I absolutely recommend you make an effort and find some. It will be much less difficult to winkle your eggs out of the pan if you fry them on oil. Thus, in the end of the preparation stage you should have one frying pan, two eggs and a bottle of vegetable oil in your sight.

Once everything is ready, turn on the gas and put frying pan on the fire. Pour some oil onto the pan. Take one egg and try to break it by the edge of the frying pan. If both of your eggs end up lying sadly on the stove surface surrounded by their own shell, come back to the fridge and take two more. Repeat this until both eggs hit the mark. While your eggs are frying you can have several minutes to sigh with relief and think what you would like to water your eggs down with. Do not lose your focus at this point as you can spoil the eggs by overdoing them. You might wonder how you can figure out that your eggs are overdone. That is extremely easy everything in the frying pan will look black it will smell rather unpleasant. In that case open the window to air the room and start it all over.

As soon as your eggs look eatable and smell appetizing you should proceed to the next goal taking them out of the pan and safely placing them onto the plate. You will need a kitchen spatula to do this. You will find it hanging on the rack right above the stove. It looks a lot like a garden shovel, just smaller. In case if you find it difficult to identify the spatula among other utensils, go search for Google pictures of it. Your next move will be to place the spatula underneath the eggs (I hope you have already turned the gas off), lift them and quickly move to the plate. If you succeeded in doing all that I am really proud of you!

As a final point, grab a tomato or a cucumber from the fridge to go with your eggs. Pour some orange juice from the pack on the table to water everything down. Enjoy your meal and do not forget to wash the dishes.